Intro Sampler Contents Humor Non-Humor Downdates Lynx Hey! There are supposed to be more links over here! I guess you're just not important enough to get a COOL navigation bar. Maybe you should have paid for the full thing instead of getting the cheapskate version.

Content with your place in the world? Xiara can help! "So," you say, with the slightly frustrated tones of someone who is probably going to get more frustrated if things continue to fail to happen at the rate that they haven't been happening*, "Why does XIARA exist? What's the point?" "Allow me to explain," I answer, "in quotes, because I like quotes. XIARA has the collected works** of some guy named Aaron and a couple of friends of his. Some of it is intended to be funny. Some of it is not intended to be funny. Whether the things that are intended to be funny are actually funny, well, that's in the eye of the beholder, right next to Truth and Beauty***." Things that are Intended to be Funny Gag the Ferret A poem about a ferret. It is very silly. Dr. Shakespeare A sonnet - of sorts - about two poets. Don't expect any iambic pentameter; it's not that kind of poem. CHECK MAIL Based on old-school, command-line RPGs and MUDs. I don't understand that command. The Infamous Anti-Chain Letter Er. It's an Anti-Chain Letter. Of sorts. Useful Phrases in Japanese All your base are belong to us, eh? Answering an E-mail Survey A lot of smart-alec answers to a lot of silly questions. Special Guest "Dmitri" Answers an E-mail Survey Dmitri answers another E-mail survey. Spanish Dan's Answers to the E-mail Survey Brought to you by Spanish Dan. Things that are Not Intended to be Funny A Tribute to Friends of the Past A Sonnet. Gratitude to the Men of Dragon's March A Sonnet I composed at an SCA event, to honor those that so readily assisted us in raising our camp. An Impromptu Composition on Fond Memories I wrote this on a whim, one night, and sent it to a bunch of friends. The Shore Battle at Harvest War, Sept. 18, 1999 A True Story from another SCA event, written by Jessica Cox, in the form of an Skaldic Epic. It's very keen. This is Lame®. Take me back to that first page. Footnotes: *The recently instantiated metric unit known as the "Nevent" is defined as "Something which fails to happen." Some really, really bored science students at Brigham Young University ("The Campus Is Our World") determined that boredom begins at exactly 3.6 kilonevents per hour (knph). Terminal Boredom (AKA being "bored to death") sets in at around 9.756 knph (or at around 13 mph when driving). Provo, UT averages at 84.604 knph per capita. **And maybe some plays. ***Which are really the same thing, you know. I'm thinking of changing the name of this section to "Bootnotes." It could have it's own slogan: "Bootnotes - Like Footnotes, but with Steel Toes." Or maybe, "Bootnotes Walk All Over Footnotes." Or, hey, how about "Bootnotes: The Masquerade" ? Maybe I'm overstepping my bounds on that one. Ah, Footnotes -- The Achilles Heel of Formatting.

Author: Aaron Holt (aah57 at email dot byu dot edu)