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CHECK MAIL
[Written by Aaron Holt, 02/22/2001]
> You are standing in front of your mailbox. Its drab grey shade seems
particularly grim this morning. It seems almost resentful of your frequent
visitations, as if you were an unpleasant relative who has invited himself
over for dinner one too many times.
CHECK MAIL
> The mailbox is empty.
CHECK MAIL
> The mailbox is empty.
WAIT
> Time passes.
CHECK MAIL
> The mailbox is empty.
> You are getting hungry.
EAT MAILBOX
> You can't eat that.
EAT MAIL
> You are not carrying item "MAIL."
HELP MAILBOX
> Type "CHECK MAIL" to check to see if you have any new mail.
THIS IS SO STUPID
> I don't understand that command.
HELP MAIL
> If you have mail in your mailbox, type "TAKE MAIL" to put it in your
inventory, and "READ MAIL" to read it. For advanced help on MAIL,
type "HELP MAIL2".
HELP MAIL2
> To get mail in your mailbox, try sending mail to someone first. Duh.
SEND MAIL
> Incorrect syntax.
HELP SEND MAIL
> Syntax: SEND MAIL TO [PLAYER]
> Syntax2: SEND MAIL TO [PLAYERLIST]
SEND MAIL TO [PLAYER]
> Player [PLAYER] not found.
HAHA, IT WAS A JOKE
> I don't understand that command.
STUPID MACHINE
> I don't understand that command.
SEND MAIL TO my-friends.lst
> Player List "my-friends.lst" not found.
SEND MAIL TO my_friends.lst
> You send mail.
> You are getting hungry.
EAT ME
> You can't eat that.
EAT my_friends.lst
> You can't eat that.
INVENTORY
> You are carrying items:
> 1 POCKET LINT
> 1 WALLET
> 1 KEY, DENTED
> 1 PEBBLE
> 1 PIECE OF STRING
> 1 CLOTHING
> 1 BLUE RIBBON
EAT POCKET LINT
> You can't eat that.
EAT CLOTHING
> You eat your clothes. Although much has been said about the benefits
of a high-fiber diet, it's not a very satisfying meal.
> You are now naked.
!!!
> I don't understand that command.
> You are getting hungry.
WEAR RIBBON
> You are now wearing BLUE RIBBON.
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER has entered the room.
SHAVE
> You shave.
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER: Perception Check: SUCCESSFUL
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER notices that you have shaved. He says, "I'm
glad to see that you are following the HONOR CODE requirements for a
CLEAN-SHAVEN APPEARANCE." He continues to patrol the room.
CHECK MAIL
> The mailbox is empty.
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER: Perception Check: FAILED
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER continues to patrol the room.
CHECK MAIL
> The mailbox is empty.
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER: Perception Check: SUCCESSFUL
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER notices that you are naked. He says, "Warning!
You are not following the HONOR CODE!"
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER is now set=ALERT.
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER demands an explanation.
SAY "I am wearing a BLUE RIBBON!"
> You say, "I am wearing a BLUE RIBBON!"
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER demands an explanation.
SAY BLUE RIBBON
> You can't say that!
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER demands an explanation.
PROTEST
> Protest how?
PROTEST WITH BLUE RIBBON
> Incorrect syntax.
PROTEST USING BLUE RIBBON
> Incorrect syntax.
PROTEST BLUE RIBBON.
> You tell the HONOR CODE ENFORCER that you are not naked, because you
are wearing item BLUE RIBBON.
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER refers to the HONOR CODE.
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER asks, "Is it knee length?"
SAY "Yes."
> You say "Yes."
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER: Gullibility Check: FAILED
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER demands an explanation.
BRIBE HONOR CODE ENFORCER
> Bribe with what?
BRIBE HONOR CODE ENFORCER WITH POCKET LINT
> You attempt to BRIBE the HONOR CODE ENFORCER with POCKET LINT.
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER: Honesty Check: FAILED
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER takes your POCKET LINT.
> Insufficient Bribe.
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER demands an explanation.
BRIBE HONOR CODE ENFORCER WITH WALLET
> You attempt to BRIBE the HONOR CODE ENFORCER with WALLET.
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER: Honesty Check: SUCCESSFUL
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER refuses to take your bribe!
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER is now set=HOSTILE.
ARM PEBBLE
> You are now armed with weapon PEBBLE
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER arms weapon COLT .45
> You are getting hungry.
> You are naked.
ATTACK HCE
> You attack the HONOR CODE ENFORCER with your PEBBLE.
> Attack: SUCCESSFUL
> You dealt 1 damage to HONOR CODE ENFORCER with your mighty PEBBLE!
> The HONOR CODE ENFORCER says, "Ouch! That hurt!"
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER attacks you with COLT .45!
TAKE COLT .45
> You can't take that!
> Attack: SUCCESSFUL
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER does 11234 damage to you with his powerful COLT .45!
> You bleed profusely.
> You are getting hungry.
PICKPOCKET HCE
> You attempt to pick the HONOR CODE ENFORCER's pocket.
> PickPocket Check: SUCCESSFUL
> You have just pickpocketed HONOR CODE ENFORCER!
> You have gained:
> 1 COLT .45
ARM COLT .45
> You can't do that!
DISARM PEBBLE
> Item PEBBLE has been placed in your inventory.
ARM COLT .45
> You are now armed with weapon COLT .45
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER arms weapon BARE HANDS
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER attempts to disarm you with his BARE HANDS!
DEFEND
> Defend how?
DEFEND WITH MAD SKILLZ
> You attempt to defend using your MAD SKILLZ.
> MAD SKILLZ: FAILED!
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER has disarmed you.
> You have lost item COLT .45
> You are getting hungry.
> You are naked.
HIDE
> Hide where?
HIDE IN MAILBOX
> You can't hide there!
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER pickpockets your MAD SKILLZ!
CURSES.
> I don't understand that command.
CURSE.
> You curse. The HONOR CODE ENFORCER is visibly offended.
> You are getting hungry.
PICKPOCKET HCE
> You attempt to pick the HONOR CODE ENFORCER's pocket.
> PickPocket Check: SUCCESSFUL
> You have just pickpocketed HONOR CODE ENFORCER!
> You have gained:
> BARE HANDS
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
> I don't understand that command.
> You are getting hungry.
EAT HONOR CODE ENFORCER
> You can't eat that.
THIS IS SO STUPID.
> I don't understand that command.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT COMMAND.
> What do you mean, you don't understand that command?
YOU ARE GETTING HUNGRY.
> Eat Rations.
YOU DON'T HAVE THAT.
> Eat Mailbox.
YOU CAN'T EAT THAT.
> Eat player.
YOU CAN'T EAT THAT.
> Eat HONOR CODE ENFORCER
YOU EAT THE HONOR CODE ENFORCER.
> HONOR CODE ENFORCER has left the room.
CHECK MAIL.
> The mailbox is empty.
GO CONTENTS.
Footnotes:
*I widened the text column for this page because it looked cramped. If it looks stupid or if it doesn't fit in your browser window, it's your fault.
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